Kamikaze Turkey

The Thanksgiving holiday is on us in the Oedewaldt household. So far Thanksgiving has started with a bang, er..., I mean crash. Grandpa Joe, ever the one to be prepared (not the Oedewaldt side), determined to test the Turkey's fit for the pan.  Pulling the 23 pound bird from the top shelf of the stand-up freezer, the tough webbing they affix with a convenient handle to carry the obese bird, failed, sending the Turkey on his last flight, aimed at grandpa's foot. The bird's last revenge, struck from his frozen grave, was to smash grandpa's big toe between the concrete floor of the garage and deep frozen mass of future dinner. Unaccustomed to surprise attacks from kamikaze frozen turkeys and the intense pain of a perfectly pancaked big toe he sat down in silence almost uttering a curse word. Wits returning, and seeing no hole in his shoe where his big toe surely exited, he completed his intended turkey pan fitting (it fit). Grandpa will spend 6 to 8 weeks in a walking cast. The bird was summarily judged guilty of grievous bodily harm and sentenced to 6 hours at 325 degrees.